A Brave New World

How things have changed.  I never imagined that I would have a job as an office rat and run through cubicle mazes all day.  I never imagined that I would spend so much time indoors that I would lose the drive to get outdoors.  It never entered my mind that the best car was the one you could get for $800.00.  I never imagined that a person could live without buying books.

As a boy, I was determined that I would not work at an office and I resisted any training that might lead me to a desk job.  My life was lived outside even if I had no real purpose there.  Some kids spent time at the mall or at the arcade and I spent time in the canyon near my home.  I had nothing to do there and no friends to meet there, but I wasted many hours there that would have been better spent on other things.

Up until a few years ago I would long for a fishing trip to the point that it was more important than anything else.  Rafting rivers, camping, hunting, even panning for gold were regular activities that I fought for.  It seemed normal behavior and I did not expect it to ever change.

Cars – I loved cars even more than I pretend to love them now.  I loved all the cars I owned and felt a real friendship for each of them.  My cars would want to get out and do and so I enabled them.  I would just drive the freeways because my cars needed to or I would go out of my way to drive home through the mud just because the trucks wanted to.  My cars were a part of me and a reflection of what I was. 

I still talk the talk but cars have become only excessive expenses that serve only the purpose of transporting people from one place to another.  I don’t go to car shows, watch the auctions, or even drool when I am passed by a particularly sweet one.  I don’t even care to fix the dents in the ones I own.  I never imagined that cars were really just seats on wheels.  Things have changed.

Yes, things have changed.  If I get an invite to go fishing or hunting, it takes a lot of convincing to get me to go – unless it is something for the kids.  Sometimes I force myself to go only because someone expects me to go but it is hard to find the same enjoyment I remember when activities like this have lost their importance.  I don’t know what was first – do I not feel driven to go because I don’t go often enough or do I not go because I have just lost the drive?

The most amazing thing is that I am actually fulfilled living this life that I never imagined for myself.  My time and my energy are spent on other things and when it comes time to do something for myself the loveliest thing I can think of is a nap while reading a book and watching TV.  These things all have the same thing in common – little to no effort.  Is it possible that I have just become incredibly lazy?

I would suggest that rather than lazy, I am extremely adaptable.  I like the sound of that much more.

 

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   One Man